6 truths you need to know before you get a nose piercing
Oh, hey, fellow face-metal holders.
Perhaps you have a ring or stud through your nose, tracing your septum, or perhaps both at once. If so, you are one of the thousands of people who have had their nose pierced in the UK.
In a bid to debunk the myths and offer a gesture of solidarity to fellow nose-pierced brethren, here are some home truths about the reality of getting and maintaining a nose jewel smack bang in the middle of your face.
1. Nose piercings originated in India
Brought to the country in the 16th Century from the Middle East by the Moghul emperor.
The piercings traditionally honour coming of age, or marriageability. The tradition extended to other parts of Asia and arrived through European punk culture to Britain in the 80s.
It’s important to know the cultural significance of your piercing before you get it, right?
2. Yes, it hurts post-piercing
As expected, getting a piece of metal threaded through your face comes at a price to ye olde pain threshold. The first round of getting a piercing might see eyes stream with tears and feel like one mighty sting, but the piercing isn’t always consequently pain-free.
There are times you will catch it on a door. There are times when it will attach to your pillow as you sleep. There are times where it will simply just throb, to make itself known to you that it exists.
Having a nose piercing is like having a very needy child living on your face.
3. The rules are important
I’m going to spell it out: winter is coming and there will be snot all over your face. That snot will try and take your piercing with it.
Arbitrary rules suck, but cleaning your piercing daily is almost essential if you don’t want to be in receipt of The Swivel Plague. This will see the opening of your jewellery lodged in your face with no room for compromise. This can hurt, and it can make your schnoz feel pretty stiff.
If it does happen, like it does to us all, use a baby wipe for optimum cleaning scope.
Twisting is key to being released from its deathly silver chains.
And remember, twist slowly and patiently. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it will take even longer to reconstruct your nose if you create a bloody battlefield across the zone formerly known as your face.
3. They will stay in your face far past the sell-by date
The martyrs who manage to remove their piercings every night are generally the type who wouldn’t opt to get a piercing in the first place. And when it comes to getting a hoop installed in your nose, the ones that create the perfect fit are not removable by anyone but a piercer (and a pair of pliers).
In consequence, days, weeks and months will roll by with the same jewel dancing along your face.
4. You don’t really want a job that would be affected by you having a piercing
‘What if it affects your career?’ vanilla-flavoured companions might ask.
These are the sorts of people who arranged their pension plan at 23 and buy spare toothbrushes.
Unless it’s for hygiene reasons, like tattoos, piercings don’t affect a person’s ability to do their job.
And any manager who thinks so might not be the best person to work for in the first place.
5. It will elicit creepy dating app messages
I mean, generally *existing* elicits creepy dating app messages, but all of a sudden, a new crop of strange enthusiasts crop up.
‘Do you still have the nose piercing? It looks like you do in some pictures and not in others,’ a person may say.
‘Um, yup, I do.’
‘Oh good,’ they will reply. ‘I wouldn’t have been interested otherwise.’
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